For the husband is an integral part of the genital-play episodes. The cotherapists must be certain that the basics of effective pelvic play are clearly enunciated if the male partner is to provide effective measure of stimulative return for the woman involved.
The husband is instructed both to allow and to encourage his wife to indicate specific preferences in stimulative approach either by the light touch of her hand on his or by moving slightly toward desired approach or away from excessive pressure.
Probably the greatest error that any man makes approaching a woman sexually is that of direct attack upon the clitoral glans, unless this is the stated wish of his particular partner. The glans of the clitoris has the same embryonic developmental background as that of the penis, but usually is much more sensitive to touch.
As female sex tensions elevate, sensations of irritation, or even pain, may result from direct clitoral manipulation.
Rarely do women, when masturbating, manipulate the clitoral glans directly. Therefore, the male approach to clitoral stimulation would do well to correspond to that employed by women when providing self-release. There is a further, perhaps more subtle, reason for relative care in the intensity of stimulative concentration directed to the clitoris.
This originates from the fact that the clitoris, as a receptor and a transmitter of sexual stimuli, can rapidly react to create an overwhelming degree of sensation. When such a high level of biophysical tension is reached before the psychosocial concomitant has been subjectively appreciated, the woman experiences too much sensation too soon and finds it difficult to accept.
In the interest of a pleasurable, evolving sexual responsivity, the clitoris should not be approached directly. Specifically, manipulation should be conducted in the general mons area, particularly along either side of the clitoral shaft.
It must be remembered that the inner aspects of the thighs and the labia also are erotically identified areas for most women. Pressure and direction of manual stimulation should be controlled initially by the female partner for two educative reasons.
full freedom of manipulative control provides her with opportunity to feel and think sexually without having to adjust to a partner's assumption of what pleases her.
female control of manipulative activity also educates the male partner into the particular woman's basic preferences in stimulative approach to the clitoral area.
It must also be borne in mind by the male partner that there is no lubricating material available to the clitoris. As female sex tension increases there will be a sufficient amount of lubrication at the vaginal outlet.
This should be maneuvered manually from the vagina to include the general area of the clitoris. Vaginal lubrication used in this manner will prevent the irritation of the clitoral area that always accompanies any significant degree of manipulation of a dry surface.
A further dimension of sexual excitation is derived from manipulation of the vaginal outlet when lubricating material is acquired for clitoral spread by superficial finger insertion. There is usually little value returned from deep vaginal insertion of the fingers, particularly early in the stimulative process.
While some women have reported a mental translation of the ensuing intravaginal sensation to that of penile containment, few had any preference for the opportunity.