With coital partners using the withdrawal technique as a means of contraception, the usual sexual sequence prescribes participation in sex play to a plateau level of male excitation, a rapid mounting process with a few frantic pelvic thrusts, and then abrupt withdrawal, which satisfies the male with an ejaculat0ry episode and protects the female from pregnancy. Usually both partners fall into the psychosexual trap of ignoring at onset any concept of male responsibility for aiding female tension release.
This withdrawal practice serves to encourage and ultimately to condition a rapid ejaculatory response upon the sexually inexperienced young man and to physiologically and psychologically condition both partners to the concept that the vagina is only to be used fleetingly as a stimulant for male ejaculatory pleasure. The anxious female partner, worried that the male may not withdraw in time, rarely has the opportunity to think and feel sexually, so any experience of orgasmic tension release would be coincidental.
In every situation, ranging from the impatience of the prostitute to the contraception-oriented withdrawal techniques, total emphasis is placed on the presumed male prerogative of freedom of sexual expression without responsibility for his partner’s sexual response. The old double standard of male sexual dominance is perpetuated by the concept of rapid and effective release of male sexual tensions provided by a female companion who services a man without expecting or receiving comparable sexual prerogatives from her sexual partner.
Despite strong cultural beliefs to the contrary, masturbatory practices, regardless of frequency or technique employed, have not been identified historically as an etiological factor in the syndrome of premature ejaculation.
After all, in the usual male masturbatory sequence there is no female companion negating her own birthright of functional sexual demand in order to provide her male partner with tension releases.
When the established premature ejaculator contemplates marriage, there may be “engagement period” expression of concern by the wife-to-be for his sexual patterning.
However, there usually is the expression of faith by both partners that the lack of ejaculatory control will be resolved with the new wife’s understanding and cooperation and the continuity of the sexual exposure inevitably engendered by the privilege of marriage.
There is no way of knowing how many men who ejaculate prematurely in the first few months or even first year or two of marriage develop in due course reasonably adequate ejaculatory control, because these temporarily beleaguered couples do not seek consultation. However, probably hundreds of thousands of men never gain sufficient ejaculatory control to satisfy their wives sexually regardless of the duration of marriage or the frequency of mutual sexual exposure.
Unfortunately, all too few of these couples ever seek professional direction.
Men and women have relatively stereotyped reactions when they are husband and wife in a unit contending with the syndrome of premature ejaculation. Some men simply cannot be touched genitally without ejaculating within a matter of seconds. Others will ejaculate immediately subsequent to observation of an unclothed female body or while reading or looking at pornographic material.
Many others ejaculate during varying stages of precoital play. However, most men who ejaculate prematurely do so during an attempt at intromission or during the first few full strokes of the penis subsequent to intravaginal containment.