The most common dysfunctions treated by sex therapists are:

    • Anorgasmia: The women has never, or only rarely, reached orgasm.
    • Delayed Ejaculation: The man can act sexually though seldom, if ever, climaxes in his partner’s presence.
    • Erectile Insecurity: Also called impotence, the condition is marked by difficulty in either getting or staying erect.
    • Inhibited Sexual Desire: A form of sexual apathy marked by infrequent sex, and a lack of thoughts and anticipation of sex.
    • Premature Ejaculation: The man climaxes more rapidly than he or his partner wishes, sometimes before intercourse begins.
    • Vaginismus: The woman desires sex, but her vaginal muscles contract involuntarily, preventing penetration.
    • Inappropriate Arousal: Being aroused by that which a culture deems inappropriate: children, animals, objects.

Most sex therapists find that when a couple finally summon the nerve to seek help, the problem is usually in an advanced stage, and can no longer be ignored, or endured. In nearly all cases, both partners need to be treated together.

The female problems such as anorgasmia and vaginismus are rare and psychological in origin. If mild, they can be solved by the woman herself with a vibrator. If severe, visit a sex therapist without delay. Male problems of ejaculatory control respond to self therapy and professional help. An erection problem can be the first sign of pre-diabetes, and the man should be tested for this promptly.

Inhibited Sexual Desire (ISD) appears to be a modern complaint amongst modern couples. Sex therapists say that it is by far the nation’s most common sexual dysfunction. For what are usually complex reasons, often including a past sexual problem, one or both partners have lost all desire for erotic intimacy.

Yet ISD is a philosophical concept, not a biological one. When and how often people wish to make love is a subjective issue. At its best, erotic love is an exquisitely sensitive bloom. Even when nurtured with the utmost love and tenderness, it can wax and wane, like the cycles of the moon.

It seems a very modern concept to regard the genitals as a set of engine parts which should be working. And that if one of these parts slows down or stops functioning, it should be taken to the auto body shop, and fixed. This mechanical way of perceiving what can be a most delicate interaction probably suits mechanical thinkers.