CategoriesKnowing Woman Sexuality

Phantom Orgasm

Sadly in life, horrendous things do happen. Women can become paralyzed in their pelvic region from road accidents, disease and so on. They can lose all sensation in their pelvic area. Yet many paralyzed women continue to be orgasmic. However, our culture tends to perceive people with such disabilities as non-sexual. Indeed, medical textbooks refer to these orgasms as “phantom orgasms.” This is a phantom of medical folklore.

Be that as it may, it is critical to understand:

A woman can have an orgasm without penetration.
A woman can have an orgasm without a penis.
A man can have an orgasm without an erection.
A man can have an orgasm without a penis.

In fact, some women (and men) have orgasms merely by willing them. They do not require foreplay, nor thrusting, to raise sexual tension first. This is rare, but it can and does happen. Keep in mind that people are individuals, and have very different levels of sexual drive.

The human spirit is a wonderful phenomenon. It can withstand the most appalling vicissitudes and still respond with courage and resourcefulness. Women are said to be more stoical than men. They are able to endure more pain, both mental and physical.

Loss of sensation is a savage assault on female primacy. A woman’s first response can be equally savage and destructive. If she responds with a seemingly quiet and depressive state, this is as damaging emotionally as a raging and bitter response. Keep in mind that the healing process can be speeded up by orgasm, if so desired. Use a vibrator, erotica, anything which works.

In a loving relationship, the partner can take control. Seduce her out of her angry or passive state. Shock her out of grief and pain by relighting her sexual fires. Turn her emotional energies away from her broken body and back to where happiness awaits.

Avoid over-concern with her feelings. She is a woman still, a real woman, and will find your particular brand of “medication” irresistible. Tell her that she is desirable. Continue to enchant her until she has an orgasm. Then tell her she is so desirable that she must be prepared for another love making session soon.

CategoriesKnowing Woman Sexuality

Party’s Over?

Some women have multiple orgasms. When they reach the orgasmic platform, they come again.., and again.., and again. It is not that the first orgasm was incomplete in any way. They are able to stay at a longer, later sexual peak, and allow orgasms to roll over them. After a man ejaculates, he must wait until his store of semen is replenished. In youth, this takes a few seconds. In later life, a day or more. Some men can have so-called “multiple orgasms” by external pressure on the perineum just before the orgasmic threshold is reached; or by mind control alone.

Detumescence is the flow of extra blood out of the area. The contractions of orgasm put pressure on all the blood vessels in the swollen organs and tissues. This pressure squeezes the extra blood out of them, and decongestion is complete. The clitoris returns to its normal size within 10 to 20 seconds after orgasm. The vagina takes some 15 minutes to return to its previous state. The uterus takes longer, between 10 and 30 minutes to become decongested and return to its previous size and position.

If there is no orgasm, there are no muscle contractions to put pressure on the blood vessels. The extra blood then pools in the organs and tissues, which remain swollen for some while. Eventually, it drains away, though this takes much longer than if orgasm has occurred. With intense sexual excitement followed by consistent lack of orgasm over a long period of time, a feeling of pelvic congestion builds up. The sensations of this condition include vague discomfort in the pelvic area, backaches, and sometimes headaches.

Pelvic congestion is not the same as a vulva which stays swollen for a day or more after making love. In this case, the swollen sensation is due to the pounding of flesh upon flesh. From a health perspective alone, orgasm is of physical benefit to avoid pelvic congestion. It also benefits the emotional health not only of the woman, but also of her partner, and the relationship itself. Strong feelings of erotic gratification bring a closer, more profound, love.

Orgasm and Health

Orgasm is a powerful muscle relaxant. Its effects can be ten times as strong as the effects of Valium and other tranquilizers. After illness, orgasm assists on the road back to health. Some doctors believe it is the best prescription for easing mild back pain, and so affording a relaxed and pain-free night of sleep.

Orgasm can be excellent aerobic activity. Blood pressure, heart and breathing rate all have a thorough workout, without the bother of putting on a track suit. The benefits to psychological health can be invaluable: profound emotional release, closer partner attachment, and an increase in mutual love, support, and self-esteem.

Perspiration: One woman in three sweats on the forehead, the top lip, and underarm. A thin film may cover the back and thighs.

CategoriesKnowing Woman Sexuality

Pain at Orgasm

Pain at orgasm can occur if the contractions of the uterus become very powerful. In a few cases, they can be as wracking as the cramps of a period. Why put up with unnecessary pain? Visit the physician promptly. The condition may be due to a hormone imbalance which can be sorted out. More often though, these powerful contractions are not experienced as pain, but as a short time of discomfort. Rest after orgasm. The pains will subside as the uterus slowly subsides and returns to its normal site.

Dyspareunia is love making which is painful or difficult. The pain is experienced at some point in the vagina. In rare cases, there can be problems of clitoral adhesions, or birth defects. There may be an allergy to some substance in the semen or sperm. More often, pain on thrusting is due to an undiagnosed yeast infection which produces no other symptoms. This pain is more a soreness, and does not begin until thrusting has continued for some time.

However, in the majority of cases, the problem is a lack of sufficient lubrication. This can be avoided by the use of external lubricants. Avoid oils and creams which contain alcohol; they irritate.

premature ejaculationCategoriesFertility Problems

Male/Female Tubal Obstruction

Adhesions are scars which form on the outside of the oviducts. They tie down the tube; it cannot move at ovulation to scoop up the free-floating egg. Adhesions can be due to previous pelvic infections, or surgery. If the scarring is widespread, the open ends of the fimbria may be completely blocked. When liquid is passed through the tubes, it cannot flow out. This is known as hydrosalpinx.

Corrective surgery to free the tubes from external adhesions has a success rate of 60 to 70 percent. However, this high rate only applies if the mucus linings inside the tubes have not been damaged by the scarring. Yet, when the fimbria are blocked, this internal lining is almost always severely damaged. The pregnancy rate then drops to between 5 and 20 percent. Keep in mind that there is always the risk that an operation to unblock the tubes can produce even more scar tissue. In these cases, one choice is in vitro fertilization.

Male Tubal Obstruction

The epididymes can be felt by gently rolling the testicles between the fingers and thumb. They are small comma-shaped lumps on top of the testicles; “epididymes” is Greek for “upon the twins.” They are, in fact, tightly coiled tubes which, if stretched out, would measure 20 feet. After baby sperm leave the testicles, they mature in the epididymes, and develop swimming skills. If the epididymes tubes are blocked, the result is tubal obstruction. In rare cases, blocked tubes are the result of a birth defect. The vas tubes which carry the mature sperm to the penis can also be blocked.

Blocked tubes are a common problem in male infertility. They occur for the same reasons as in women; scars from previous infections or surgery. Surgery to repair defective tubes can be successful if the blockage is mild. However, if the degree of scarring is great, the outcome for unblocked tubes is low. One option in these cases is in vitro fertilization.

premature ejaculationCategoriesFertility Problems

Fertility Problems

Problem Areas

Some women get pregnant very easily. Others believe it is a miracle when they finally conceive. Fertility problems are now regarded as “couple problems,” yet the breakdown between the genders is interesting.

Infertility can result from:

  • Male problems: 25 percent of couples
  • Female problems: 35 percent of couples
  • Female and male: 24 percent of couples
  • No known cause:16 percent of couples

Factors to be investigated include:

  • Man: Is the quality of sperm poor or good? (testicles)
  • Woman: Is a viable egg produced at midcycle? (ovaries)
  • Man: Are the sperm tubes unblocked? (epididymis & vas)
  • Woman: Are the egg tubes unblocked? (oviducts)
  • Woman: Is the uterus lining well-prepared? (endometrium)
  • Both: Are the sex hormones produced in proper balance?

However, many fertility problems are not really problems and can be resolved by the couples themselves. The first factors to consider do not involve medical intervention.

premature ejaculationCategoriesFertility Problems

Body Weight

Fat cells absorb and release the female hormone estrogen. In women who are overweight, estrogen is not only produced by the ovaries, but also from the extra fat cells in other parts of the body. This release of extra estrogen from extra fat cells upsets the fine balance of the feedback system between the pituitary hormones and estrogen. If the problem can be detected on the bathroom scales, reduce weight to within the normal range for age.

Overweight in men. Heat damages sperm production. In men who are overweight, an excess of flesh at the buttocks, inner thighs, and lower abdomen not only keeps the groin hot, it raises the temperature in the testicles. This reduces their ability to produce vigorous sperm. The testicles should be a few degrees below body heat; hence their cooler position outside the body. Wear loose cotton shorts, and reduce weight to within the normal range for age.

Underweight in women. Being underweight can also upset the feedback system between the hormones. A certain level of fat cells is necessary for hormone production. If body weight drops too low, ovulation can be suppressed. Some women athletes and long-distance runners have scanty or absent periods. Avoid crash diets. Avoid any slimming or exercise program which promises a sudden weight loss or one which drops the body weight below the minimum normal range. Increase carbohydrate consumption. Aim for an even body weight within the normal range for age.

CategoriesAging Male Sex

Aging Male & Female

Arbitrarily, statistics reflecting the failure rates of treatment procedures for sexual dysfunction in the aging population will be considered in this section rather than dividing the material between the discussions of sexual inadequacy in the aging male and female.

A brief single presentation seems in order since only marital units are available for consideration in this age group. The male and female statistics are essentially inseparable from a therapeutic point of view, and the overall sample is entirely too small for definitive individual interpretation.


In 51 of the total of 56 aging marital units treated for sexual dysfunction, the husband was the instigating agent in bringing the marital unit to therapy. Among the remaining 5 couples, the referral apparently was by the mutual accord in 3 and only at the demand of the wife in 2 couples.

There also was a higher incidence of referred male sexual dysfunction than of female sexual inadequacy in the aging population. Therefore the discussion will focus on the male partner’s age as a point of departure.

Since the husband was the partner most often involved in dysfunctional pathology and was the member of the unit that usually took the necessary steps to accomplish referral to the Foundation, the aging male will be statistically highlighted.

The 56 marital couples referred for treatment divide into 33 units with bilateral complaints of sexual dysfunction and 23 units with unilateral complaints of sexual inadequacy. Thus, there were 89 individual cases of sexual dysfunction treated from the 56 units with husbands’ age 5o years or over as a common baseline.

This 33:23 ratio is a reversal of the overall statistics for dual-partner involvement of marital units as opposed to singly involved units. The fact that there was a dominance of bilateral sexual deficiency among the older marital units is in accord with previously expressed concepts of cultural influences.

Certainly, the older the marital unit the better chance for the Victorian double standard of sexual functioning. With these pressures of performance, one could almost expect more male than female sexual pathology to be in identified unit partners over 50 years of age referred to the Foundation.

The clinical complaints registered by the aging population (male and female) in the 56 marital units referred for treatment. There was a 30.3 percent failure rate to reverse sexual dysfunction, regardless of whether both partners or a single partner is involved, in any marriage with the husband over 50years of age. With gender separation, for the aging male (50 to 79) there was a 25 percent failure rate to reverse his basic complaint of sexual inadequacy as compared to a 40.7 percent failure rate for the aging female (50 to 79).

These statistics simply support the well-established clinical concept that the longer the specific sexual inadequacy exists, the higher the failure rate for any form of therapeutic endeavor.

On the other hand, there was a significantly less than 50 percent failure rate in treatment for any form of sexual dysfunction, regardless of the age of the individuals involved. In short, even if the sexual distress has existed for 25 years or more, there is every reason to attempt a clinical reversal of the symptomatology.

There is so little to lose and so much to gain. Presuming generally good health for the sexual partners, and mutual interests in reversing their established sexual dysfunction, every marital unit, regardless of the ages of the partners involved, should consider the possibility of clinical therapy for sexual dysfunction in a positive vein. The old concept “I’m too old to change” does not apply to the symptoms of sexual dysfunction.